[00:01.2]
Hello and welcome to the Own Your Health podcast, I'm Cyndi Lynne and I can't wait to help you step into your health power. In the second of this little series I'm doing on the power that words have in our life and especially in our health, today I want to talk about should and will.
[00:21.3]
Our first, last week in our first of this series, we talked about can't and won't and the difference in those. And hopefully since you listened to that, you've caught yourself on a few more cants and switched them, actually migrated them to won'ts if it's something you don't want to do or investigated some more to figure out what was going on.
[00:44.7]
The same is true for should and will. And they recommend very much a difference between external forces and expectations acting us on us and our actual individual choices that we're making.
[01:02.4]
When I hear clients say I should, I really should be doing this, I should do that, I should do this, it's someone else, and sometimes me, telling them what they need to do to meet their goals or what they need to do to meet a stated progress point or milestone, right?
[01:25.5]
Will, when we say I will do something, we're taking control of that. And that's very powerful in language. It's powerful to hear it, but it's just as powerful in our brain to say it.
[01:42.5]
And our brain listens to everything we say. Some people would think it's the other way around, that our brain calculates something and then our mouth says it. If you've ever been in a position where your mouth has gotten ahead of your brain, you'll know that this isn't true, that we say things often and it takes a minute sometimes for our brain to catch up, especially in conversation, especially in non critical day to day talks and even in self talk self conversation.
[02:18.0]
How often have you caught yourself saying, oh, I should really do this, I should really go for a walk, I should really exercise. I should really or shouldn't, I really shouldn't have that second piece of whatever. It's all external and it puts us kind of on the receiving end.
[02:36.8]
It can put us on the end of things sometimes feeling like a child whose parent is telling them what they should and shouldn't do. When you say I will, just like when you say I won't, when you say I will, it shows a commitment, it shows a level of taking control.
[02:58.5]
I will do this, I will do that, whatever you've committed to. But there's strength in that and there's a decision that's made. So let's look at some of the examples where I hear this often. I work with clients, some of them, who have a very high level of inflammation throughout their body.
[03:22.7]
And we choose one area to work on, one area of the body. Sometimes it's diet and sometimes it's, sometimes it's oral hygiene, for example. And I will say to people, tell me what you do at night with your teeth, with your mouth before you go to bed and what do you do in the morning?
[03:44.7]
And inevitably with these people with really high levels of inflammation, they will say, well, I brush my teeth every night and I probably should floss, but I just don't get around to it. Then I get up in the morning and I'm and you immediately hear I brush my teeth every night.
[04:03.3]
That's a will, that's what I do. That's non negotiable for most people. The should is something that they've heard, something that they've been told maybe multiple times and spoiler, I'm going to tell them that again, but for whatever reason they haven't turned that into an I will.
[04:24.5]
And most of the time it's because they, although they may know the facts of why you want to do it, they don't see the value, they don't find the personal value of taking that time to floss every night before they go to bed.
[04:42.9]
So I hear it takes too much time. I don't like putting my fingers in my mouth. It makes a mess on the mirror. All of these are reasons why people don't do something like floss when they truly understand the benefits to their whole entire body that can sometimes make a difference. Or making an agreement with them to say I will floss every night for 30 days and then I can see if it makes a difference in my health, in my life, in my mouth, in my perceived levels, my perceived feeling of inflammation.
[05:27.5]
And then if it doesn't work, I'm not going to continue. So an I will can overtake I should if it's for a shortened period of time or if, if you really find the personal meaning for yourself, if you really understand why you're doing it.
[05:49.1]
And it's not just the statistics and fun facts that we often learn about things. The reason we have to do something is always has to be a very personal level. When we want to make a change, it has to be a very personal reason for not to, for making a change.
[06:09.7]
For making a should into and I will. We often think we change for other people or because someone else wants us to but our reasons have to be very intrinsic. They have to be very deep within us. And until we really desire the change that an action produces, it often stays a should.
[06:33.8]
And whether that's exercise, whether it's changing what we're eating, whether it's making a phone call to someone that we haven't spoken with in a long time, I really should means that I don't really want to.
[06:51.3]
And I don't necessarily think there's going to be value in it or the expense of time and effort is going to be greater than the value that it puts. So in working with clients, every time I hear should we give it an opportunity, I call them out on it, as I said in the last one.
[07:13.8]
And I'm paid to call them out on these things and say, okay, why, why don't you? If you should, why don't you? Well, it's too expensive or it takes too much time or I don't, You know, I've heard I'm so tired by the time I go to bed that I just barely get my teeth brushed and get into bed.
[07:37.4]
And I say, fine, floss when you're awake, floss right after dinner, brush your teeth, be done, be done eating. And sometimes just that shift in paradigm that gives a little bit more control can shift that should to an I will.
[08:03.5]
So, as always, I invite you to listen to your language, listen to what you tell yourself, listen to what you tell others. Probably what you tell yourself is the most impactful on your brain. What words are you using? How many times a day do you should all over yourself?
[08:22.6]
And where would you want that to be an I will. And if it's something that you really find value in and you really want it to be an I will do that as opposed to I should do that, then let's figure out how. Let's figure out what perceptions need to be changed.
[08:40.7]
What. What needs to be shifted. Reach out, grab a time on my calendar. I will be more than happy to meet with you. And if you want to get started right away, there's a great deal down below for that as well. Three sessions.
[08:55.8]
We can get right to your shoulds and turn them to I will. So until next week, let's go out and own it.
